Answers for Pat...

hahahahahaha...I never thought I could use my once loved pasttime (sophmore year and early junior year) in an academic discussion....SAWEEEEEEET!

The reason I'm not just replying to your post is because it deserves to be discussed in the open (much like the previous ones about Chris' apparent vagina and John's accusation that Christopher's Va-jay-jay is disease ridden!)

**Warning**
This post will be graphic and use lots of bad language!


So here it goes, on with the memories and answers...

First off, who remembers going to the "Kitty Kat Lounge" with Chip? Hahahaha...That was fucking hilarious! You know what else was hilarious? The fact that he tried to buy us a stripper for a couple thousand bucks at "The Torch"! HAHAHA...that was good times!

Who else remember that at the "Kitty Kat Lounge", Ted got some bush shoved in his face by some dirty ho-bag? Cause I remember...and I think you do too Pat, cause we were both laughing about it! (At least I think that was you...LOL). Then Ted got suckered in by the fine stripper lady and proceded to give her a $5 bill.

I also remember one time, when all you guys were gone except for Chris and Pat at the end of the year, our sophmore year. (Chris and I were there cause we were athletes and all and Pat was there cause he was cleaning up dorm rooms, even though he just looted whatever was left behind) Anyways, after a long night of boozing with Chris Niesel, before we had to move into the stupid Fisher dorm, I woke up in the lazy boy in our common room. Most of the shit was gone out the room and in storage. Just part of the l-couch and some shelves and shit! I look over to my left and see a body laying on the couch. I was like "WAAAAAAA!".
At second glance I noticed it was Niesel, so I calmed myself a little more. But then, I noticed i was still wearing all of my clothes! On my clothes I noticed a strange material. I came to realize that this material was cereal, Cocoa Rice Krispies to be exact (and they were Chris' too, which probably made it even sweeter). They were all over me and the box was laying beside the reclined lazy-boy spilled on the floor. I check my pockets to see if I still have all that NCAA money and lovely cash that I had the night before (about $160 to be exact). NOPE. It wasn't there! I check my wallet. No cash! Oooops! "Hmmmmm", I thought to myself "maybe I should check to see if my cell phone is still on me!" So I did. I checked my other pocket. HURRAY! My cell phone was there, but what's this? Something else in my pocket! I pull it out! Ahhhh. I know realize why all my money is gone and I woke up with cocoa rice krispies all over me (without knowing).
A polaroid, and there I was, smooshed between 4 boobs from 2 big boobed strippers from "The Torch". Two strippers, 4 boobs, my face! I looked happy, so did they! Me minus $160, no wonder they were happy...stupid strippers.
And to top it all off, Niesel, who somehow remembered parts of the night, told me that we got a ride home from some strangers the night before, cause we hitch hiked back. But then when we got in their car, the two guys inside threatened to take us farther away from Notre Dame unless we found them a party. So, me being in a great state, apparently directed them to the woman's lacrosse house. There was no party and there were no lights on. The doors were locked, but that wasn't going to stop me from partying with these strangers, so I broke in! Chris tells me I went through a window then opened the door for the rest of them. I turned on all the lights and tried to find food. I woke the girls up (and this is where it gets fuzzy for Chris too) they offered us some food or beer or something and we left...the next thing he remembers is waking up on our couch! Hmmmm...I wonder what happened? I'll never know!

Ahhhh the good old days. The Torch. Niesel and I went there so much that they used to call me Texas, cause that was my fake ID at the time! In fact, after I had surgery, Niesel came to visit me in the infermary and brought me a card (how sweet). All sentimental crap you know, but then at the end it said "PS - The Torch is calling our names!" Not kidding! I'll scan it some day and put it on here...hahaha...too funny!

Well, now on to your answers Pat. If you read carefully you probably would have gotten the answer already but lets go back shall we, and look at all the happenings. Being a frequent to the Torch I can tell you that they didn't go full nude. Sometimes they did (like this one time I got two chicks to give me a lap dance and they started fingering each other and eating each other out in front of me in my booth! hahahaha...graphic but true).

The only reason I use that story with Ted (don't worry Ted we've all been there before...well maybe not all of us, but I definately have!) is so that you can remember and get a visual. If that B-E-A-utiful stripper forced her lotus patch upon Mr. Bangert, then she must have been bottomless correct?

Another happening that might push you in the right direction, Pat, is that, if you remember, "The Kitty Kat Lounge" was shut down at the end of our Junior year and all of our Senior year. Why do you ask? Well, for no other reason than prostitution my good friend. And no, I don't know that cause I was a customer you sick fucks, it was all over the news and we did it as an excerise in my broadcast journalism class, we had to write a news story about it.

So, in conclusion, if you look at the fact that they were a dirty, dirty, whorish organization that pimped out their "talent", it is easy to say that, yes, that was in fact a G-stringless, bottomless, and indeed hairless pussy that was shoved in Ted's face (against his own free will)!

I hope that this gave you your answer and also induced some light laughter...


PS - Pat, you, me and Niesel need to have another night like we did that one time at the Torch...i miss those care free good old days!

Academic Question

Alright guys, I have a entirely academic question:

In Constitutional Law we are discussing the First Amendment rights involved in sexually oriented speech. One of our cases, apparently a fairly big Supreme Court case, deals with a subject that many of us have found enticing: nude dancing.

In fact, the case concerns an establishment several of us have attended: The Kitty Kat Lounge!

The case upholds an Indiana statute that requires erotic dancers to wear at least a G-string and pasties. The case fairly recent, from 1991, but because of this decision I think the law may still be in effect. Now I'm having trouble remembering, due to my drunken state on both occasions, whether the girls there were in fact wearing pasties and/or G-strings. I'm thinking they didn't. At least not pasties -- I mean I think I would notice those.

Can anyone who has also attended said establishment give me their recollection of whether the girls were wearing either of these items of "clothing"? I want to be able to give a personal testimonial when this case is discussed in class on Friday.

Please respond!

For further reading: http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?navby=case&court=us&vol=501&page=560

Love, Pat

...city born into this world with no knowledge and no regrets...

I'd also like to add a Happy Belated Birthday to Sam (since it wasn't posted on here).

I would like to think that my online conversation with Old Sam last night made myself partially responsible for his admittance of love via the facebook (since we were both stalking each others special lady friends whilst conversing)!

I suppose you could always just do what Pat did, and just add my girlfriend as a friend on facebook despite not ever meeting or knowing her (and leaving a message saying that you just wanted to see what Ax's girl looked like!) - Ain't that right Fat Pat?

Anyways....Peace


Axford...out!

Pat - so out of the loop

You didn't know about Sam's love connection? Wow. I'll let him tell you the whole story, but I'll just say I'm happy for Sam. He always seemed to listen to less Modest Mouse and Neutral Milk Hotel when he was getting some. Now he can listen to some Van Halen and Rush.

Know time for one of my boring posts. Hope this one doesn't warrant insults Ted.

Peace out,
Chris

Whaaaa?

Sam, do you have some news you need to share with us? Because my facebook wall feed (stalker page) tells me you do. And may I add: Whaaaaa?

http://www.slate.com/id/2151657/?nav=tap3

And the answer is...

So the question was: "In which of the following area of your body is the presence of disease causing bacteria considered normal?"

Choices: A.) Christopher's eyes
B.) Christopher's upper intestine
C.) Christopher's bladder
D.) Christopher vagina

Under normal (aka healthy) cirucumstances, the eyes, bladder, and UPPER intestine have absolutely no normal flora.....no bacteria at all. The vagina has many bacteria that, under the right circumstances such as decreased immunity, can cause disease.

I'm said to say that Mr. Medical School is right.

It's your vagina.




postGRAD

Lucy was 7 and wore a head of blue barrettes...

Well, now that you douche bags are done spitting your aweinspiring onslaught of rebuddles, I figured I'd take the time to jump in here.

Firstly, Happy Birthday to Jonathan Sundy. I know I talked to you last night and said it then, wrote you two facebook messages this morning, had balloons and chocalates waiting at your desk in the morning, sent a birthday gram to your work to sing to you before lunch, and have 2 dozen red roses showing up at your doorstep in about 2 hours, buuuuuuuut I figured I'd still say it on the blog as well!

John, sorry homey, but I won't make it to the game! I know I suck. I screwed up the date and told the guys i was going to go with the wrong one...they couldn't make it for that weekend and when I came back at them for this weekend they already had plans! Booo to me. But be prepared, this is another long Axford post!

Christopher, I called you back the day after you rang me and left you a message. I've been wondering why you didn't call me? Buuuuuut, after to talking to Jonathan last night, I realized my phone is a peice of garbage and I very well could of just left you a message that "sounded like Hurricane!" And if my name didn't show up on a missed call you must have been scared by the scaring Hurricane message! Sorry! But give my ass a call back. Punk!

Last time I wrote on here (besides the Hertzfeldt cartoons), I think I mentioned that I was writing a script for a production compnay down in West Hollywood (Sunset Blvd.) that was owned by old retired baseball players and current ones. Well, they read my treatment, which was 15 pages (single spaced) and they loved it. A treatment is the synopsis of the film with all the action involved and tells the enitre story of the film and its characters, but it does not include the dialogue...

...So I started on the script before I got the feedback from the company. I got the feedback and then went to town on it to try and get it done. Well, i just finished it two days ago and I sent it off yesterday. I registered it with the Writer's Guild of America, so it's protected for 5 years now (which doesn't really mean anything but it gives me a good sense of pride to have something I conjuerd up be protected!) It's currently sitting at 145 pages long. Yes, possibly longer than any of the papers I've done in my entire educational career, combined! The guy I sent it too is giving it directly to Todd Zeil, former New York Met and one of the head executives at Green Diamond Entertainment.

I'm pretty pumped about it and I really hope to hear some good feedback. If I get the job I could be pretty well set for the next few years of my life. I would become a member of the Guild and I would get all the benefits of the guild (which are quite amazing). Not to mention the "minimum" payments that they have set out in their Collective Bargaining Agreement for selling your intellectual property! (It's not minimal at all.)


Anywho, in other news, my girlfriend (Nicole) and I are going to an Andy Warhol exihibit in Toronto this weekend which I'm looking forward to. The family is doing great and I'm growing facial hair. I've been rockin the Van Dyck (goatee with a mustache, but seperate from each other) mixed with a flavor savor for about 2 or 3 weeks now. The mustache portion was bugging me a little bit because it kept going in my mouth and my girlfirend didn't like the prickles, so I shaved that part off. I'm still sporting the goatee and soul patch (i just dont' know the proper name for that)! And yes it looks good, suprisingly. I think it really compliments my cocaine-esque style body. My dreams of being a rock star only stay alive in my appearence...so sad!

Anyways... I'll wrap this up now, before you guys begin to dread my posts in the future.

Hope all is well and peace out!

Ax-face-killa


PS - It's called a Van Dyck after the painter Anthony Van Dyck (see what an art crazed girlfriend does to you!)

Touche

Chris, I almost believed that you were going to take the high moral ground on that, but I'll give you points for the surprise. The reason for the tone my personal response was from your initial "As for John's question, see my post bitch" that maybe not everybody read. But my argument isn't that you started it.. You actually are calling yourself an asshole because E. coli is part of the normal flora, just not toxic mutated strains. Anyway I'll agree that the question is flawed, and we can go back to talking about cartoons and Greg going to a dance club with 5 gay dudes.

Later,

Ted

Interesting

Ted, I find this back and forth quite exciting, but I don't know if name calling is in order. I didn't really think I was taking issue with your response.

Let's look back at John's initial question:
"In which of the following area of your body is the presence of disease causing bacteria considered normal?"

First off the question is flawed from the start. My body is a temple where disease causing bacteria are strictly forbidden. Normal Flora are only allowed if they behave themselves. Any mutation, and I purge them from my system--it's quite beautiful.

Second, if I thought E. Coli was part of the normal flora I'd have to be a complete asshole. I said, "Certain mutated strands of these gut bacteria can cause disease; an example is E. coli O157:H7." The key word being mutated.

Third, I take issue with your claim that to be considered "disease causing" it must in your words, "casue diseases where they are found." If you get a disease, I don't think you really care where it comes from.

Fourth, if normal flora only causes disease under special circumstances, then you probably wouldn't call it "disease causing" under normal circumstances, would you? More of a question than a point I guess.

Finally, Ted, I created this blog to exchange information in a highly intellectual manner. We all graduated from a fine University with diverse degrees. I hope that you can remember to respect the people you interact with that may not have the same expertise (namely your patients).

Peace out guys,
Chris

ps- Ted, you are a giant ass bag

My Rebuttal

While these facts "off the top of your head" may be true, I would like to point out that the small intestines do not have many microorganisms (Guarner and Malagelada, 2003b; University of Glasgow, 2005). E. coli are mostly in the colon, and E. coli O157:H7, an enterohemorrhagic E. coli, is not part of the normal flora. So what you said is true, but it doesn't answer the question. Many normal flora outside of the region where they normally grow can be pathogenic, and as you already seem to know, they are also a problem in immunocompromised people. So technically, the presence of disease causing bacteria (causing disease where they are found) is not normal, it is pathogenic, and in healthy people normal flora can only cause disease when spead away from their typical location. It can be said that E. coli of the colon are disease causing in that they can cause a UTI, or urinary tract infection, when spread there, but they are not disease casing as they normally exist in the colon.

C. albicans does grow in the vagina, but is usually inhibited by acid produced by lactobacilli. Before puberty and after menopause, lactobacilli are rare, which can lead to overgrowth of C. albicans and resulting Candida vaginitis (Levinson 2006).

I won't give any lectures on city or state political theory, and I don't need any of these on medicine, bitch.

My Response

First, to prove I'm not a simpleton, I thought I'd give a little background on bacteria in the human body of the top of my head:

The human body contains a large number of bacteria, most of them performing tasks that are useful or even essential to human survival. Those that are expected to be present, and that under normal circumstances do not cause disease, are termed normal flora.

It is estimated that 500 to 1000 different species of bacteria live in the human body (Sears, 2005). Bacterial cells are much smaller than human cells, and there are about ten times as many bacteria as human cells in the body (100 trillion (10¹⁴) versus 10 trillion (10¹³); Sears, 2005). Though normal flora are found on all surfaces exposed to the environment (on the skin and eyes, in the mouth, nose, small intestine, and colon), the vast majority of bacteria live in the large intestine.

Many of the bacteria in the digestive tract, collectively referred to as gut flora, are able to break down certain nutrients such as carbohydrates that humans otherwise could not digest. The majority of these commensal bacteria are anaerobes, meaning they survive in an environment with no oxygen.

Many of the bacteria of the normal flora can act as opportunistic pathogens at times of lowered immunity. Escherichia coli is a bacterium that lives in the colon; it is an extensively studied model organism and probably the best understood organism of all. Certain mutated strands of these gut bacteria can cause disease; an example is E. coli O157:H7.

A number of types of bacteria, such as Actinomyces viscosus and A. naeslundii, live in the mouth, and constitute a sticky substance called plaque. If this is not removed by brushing, it hardens into calculus (also called tartar). The same bacteria also secrete acids that dissolve the tooth enamel, causing tooth decay.

The vaginal microflora consist mostly of various lactobacillus species. It was long thought that the most common of these species was Lactobacillus acidophilus, but it has later been shown that the most common one is L. iners followed by L. crispatus. Other lactobacilli found in the vagina are L. delbruekii and L. gasseri. Disturbance of the vaginal flora can lead to bacterial vaginosis.

The Answer is clearly the upper intestines

Question of the day for Chris

Thanks Christopher for the wonderful birthday wishes.......I teared up after I clicked on the postGRAD link. You mean so much to me......you'll never know.

Anyway, I'm pumped for the game this weekend. I'm up to my eyeballs in bacteria (was that a hint?) right now, and can't wait for a break.

Since you made my day Chris, I'll make yours. Here's a medical quiz quesion for you:

Q. In which of the following area of your body is the presence of disease causing bacteria considered normal?

Ok, Chris...here are your choices:
A.) Your eyes
B.) Your upper intestine
C.) Your bladder
D.) Your vagina

Get back to me on that......

postGRAD

Birthday Greetings

Rowlands,

Happy Birthday you old son-of-a-bitch. 30 is right around the corner. Hope you can take some time from your busy med school schedule to enjoy the fall foliage on this glorious day.

As I understand it, Ax, Rowlands, Sundy, and I are coming in for the UCLA game in a couple weeks. I'm curious if anyone has though about sleeping arrangements. Last time I stayed with a guy on the track team, I was stuck with 20 Lacrosse guys. NOT FUN! I wanna find anything better.

I was at the Stanford game and was happy with the victory. They still don't seem to be firing on all cylinders yet, but I don't want to get greedy. Illinois lost to Indiana after being up 25-7, and after beating Michigan State the weekend before, so I don't have that to deal with. And the Bears are 5-0 and the best team in the NFL, so all is good.

I've still got a girlfriend. All is well on that front. Saw her the last two weekends, but now I've got to wait until the end of the month. I've been averaging about 3 papers a week in school, so I've been pretty busy.

Enough,
Peace Out,

Chris

ps-Has anyone heard from Anthony lately? I tried to call him a couple weeks again and never got a call back.

Muahahaha

Glad to hear everyone's doing well

Last tuesday, for the first time in my life, I bought a CD the day it came out: Weird Al's "Straight Outta Lynwood". Jackpot. I now own seven of Al's CDs, not including the two that I've lost. Call me what you will

I bought gas for $1.99 a gallon the other day

I broke up with my "girlfriend" because she was boring

That's all I got for now, dudes

- Pat